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演讲库 / 1992-02-04

讲座——沟通

Lecture - Communication

日期:1992-02-04地点:Los Angeles, CA

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中英对照全文

Tonight I have a very unique experiment to do with you, guys. I know as a psychologist and I am the only one in United States, none of you could do that. The communication plays a most vital part in anybody's human life. Mostly seventy percent you are, your talk is unconscious. And out of hundred, second ratio is that about sixty percent your communication is purposeful. You have a aim, you want to achieve something. So that is sixty percent, that is another category. And thirdly, your approach to another person which is eighty percent out of a hundred, third category, you want to impress, you want to control and you want to be acknowledged.

今晚我要和你们做一个非常独特的实验。我以心理学家的身份知道,而且我是美国唯一能做这件事的人,你们谁都做不到。沟通在任何人的人生里都起着最关键的作用。大多数时候,百分之七十,你的谈话是无意识的。而在一百里面,第二个比例是,大约百分之六十的沟通是有目的的。你有一个目标,你想达成某件事。所以那是百分之六十,那是另一个类别。第三,你对待另一个人的方式,在一百里面占百分之八十,这是第三个类别,你想打动对方,你想控制对方,你想被认可。

These are the three main categories of human talking. Unfortunate.

这就是人类说话的三个主要类别。很不幸。

You have never learnt to talk to know each other. You do not have a rapport of the same frequency. You do not have the strength to acknowledge. Not the character but also the characteristic of another person. Three things. And you talk, all you get is a reaction and it's called angry and it's called divorce, it's called rejection, it is called cat is out of the bag. All it shows is your mental bankruptcy. Sad to tell you that, but that is a common disease.

你从来没有学会为了彼此了解而说话。你没有同一频率上的融洽。你没有力量去认可。不只是另一个人的品格,还有他的特质。三件事。你说话,你得到的一切只是一个反应,它叫愤怒,它叫离婚,它叫拒绝,它叫秘密泄露了。它显示的全是你心智的破产。很遗憾要这样告诉你,但这是常见的病。

it's called rejection, it is called cat is out of the bag. All it shows is your mental bankruptcy. Sad to tell you that, but that is a common disease.

它叫拒绝,它叫秘密泄露了。它显示的全是你心智的破产。很遗憾要这样告诉你,但这是常见的病。

Communication is a gift to know, communication is a gift to understand, and communication is a gift to realize. If you do not use communication for these three things, you better shut up and don't talk. I don't care what religion you belong to and I don't care what your picture look like. But ninety percent, you blow the situation away, just by forty words. The impact of forty words on another person is so heavy, you can never recover it. You might have understood some people saying, 'ha, yeah, there is something wrong. Something missing. Um, I can't pinpoint, I can't figure it out. We had a good time, we were all fine, but... ' That big but, says is, if you would not have behaved that way.

沟通是一份去了解的礼物,沟通是一份去理解的礼物,沟通是一份去领悟的礼物。如果你不用沟通来做这三件事,你最好闭嘴,别说话。我不在乎你属于什么宗教,我不在乎你的照片长什么样。但百分之九十的情况,你只用四十个词就把局面炸掉了。四十个词对另一个人的冲击如此沉重,你永远无法挽回。你可能听有些人说过:「哈,是啊,有什么地方不对劲。少了点什么。嗯,我说不上来,我搞不清楚。我们本来挺开心的,我们都好好的,可是……」那个大大的「可是」,说的是,如果你没有那么表现就好了。

And whenever unconscious 'but' comes in the communication, the subconscious animosity grows multifold. This is also a problem between management in businesses, in friendship, in relationship, in wife and husband.

而每当无意识的「可是」进入沟通,潜意识里的敌意就会成倍增长。这也是企业管理层之间、友谊之间、关系之间、妻子和丈夫之间的问题。

subconscious animosity grows multifold. This is also a problem between management in businesses, in friendship, in relationship, in wife and husband.

潜意识里的敌意成倍增长。这也是企业管理层之间、友谊之间、关系之间、妻子和丈夫之间的问题。

What I want to tell you is that our communication if not properly managed, causes a stray effect. It withers away something. It doesn't nurture.

我想告诉你们的是,我们的沟通如果不妥善管理,就会造成一种散乱的影响。它会让某些东西枯萎凋零。它不会滋养。